WARNINGS ABOUT ADULTERY

THE BIBLICAL VIEW OF SEX

"...The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body...Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said 'the two will become one flesh' ..." [I Corinthians 6:13-16] [When you have sex with someone, you become one.]

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." [I Corinthians 7:3-5] [God created sex for marriage, and it is a good thing.]

"But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." [I Corinthians 7:9] [No sex before marriage.]

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?" [Proverbs 5:18-20]

"Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man's wife?

For a man's ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly." [Proverbs 5:15-23] [This passage compares the wife to a cistern, well, and fountain which is a source of pleasure to the man. Sexual pleasure is part of God's purpose for sex in marriage as can be seen in this passage. Such experience is designed for the commitment and trust of marriage. Outside of marriage sex ultimately leads to guilt and loss of self-respect.]

Following are excerpts from the book Song of Songs. Although the language is rather foreign to our culture, the basic message is clear that physical love between a man and wife is scriptural. The husband is "Lover" and the wife is "Beloved". The brackets before each quote show who is speaking.

"[Beloved] Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among the young men. I delight to sit in his shade and his fruit is sweet to my taste. He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love. Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." [Song of Songs 2:3-7]

"[Lover] How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like a tower of David. built with elegance; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your two breasts are like two fawns, like twin fawns of a gazelle that browse among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. All beautiful you are my darling; there is no flaw in you." [Song of Songs 4:1-7]

"[Beloved] My lover is radiant and ruddy, outstanding among ten thousand. His head is purest gold; his hair is wavy and black as a raven. His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with chrysolite. His body is like polished ivory decorated with sapphires. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend..." [Song of Songs 5:10-16]

"[Lover] You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah, lovely as Jerusalem, majestic as troops with banners. Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep coming up from the washing. Each has its twin, not one of them is alone. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Sixty queens there may be, and eighty concubines, and virgins beyond number; but my dove, my perfect one, is unique, the only daughter of her mother, the favorite of the one who bore her. The maidens saw her and called her blessed; the queens and concubines praised her." [Song of Songs 6:4-9]

"[Lover] Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit." May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. [Beloved] May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me." [Song of Songs 7:7-10]

"[Beloved] I am a wall and my breasts are like towers. Thus I have become in his eyes like one bringing contentment." [Song of Songs 8:10] [Dedicated love between marriage partners should bring fulfillment and contentment. The end result of shared love is contentment.]

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IGNORING GOD'S COMMANDS

"Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised...Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." [Romans 1:24-27] [Homosexuality is a sin. Fornication and adultery are just as much of a sin.]

"Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." [I Corinthians 6:9-10]

GOD'S FORGIVENESS OF OUR SINS

"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." [Romans 3:22-23] [It's a shame when Christians point their finger at the world and protest their sin, we are called to love them. ALL HAVE SINNED and all sin is equal and all can be forgiven if they just ask. Only God is entitled to judge.]

"I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent." [Luke 15:7]

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." [John 3:16]

"For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." [Psalm 51:3-7]

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy." [Micah 7:18]

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." [Romans 5:8]

WE ARE CALLED TO OBEDIENCE

"So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." [I Corinthians 10:12-13] [If you think you can't succeed in a commitment to premarital abstinence, you are not too weak, you just may not be relying on God enough.]

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." [Philippians 4:13]

""We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that we whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so taht we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true - even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life." [I John 5:18-20]

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." [Romans 1:20]

"For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stonger than man's strength." [I Corinthians 1:25]

"In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." [Romans 6:11-14]

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." [Romans 12:1-2]

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." [I Corinthians 6:18-20] [Sexual sin affects people differently than other sin does.]

"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." [Ephesians 5:3]

"...We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts." [I Thessalonians 2:4]

"It is God's will that you should be *sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit." [I Thessalonians 4:3-8] [*sanc-ti-fy (sangk-teh-fi) tr.v. 1. To set apart for sacred use; consecrate. 2. To make holy; purify. 3. To give religious sanction to, as with an oath or a vow. 4. To give social or moral sanction to. 5. To make productive of holiness or spiritual blessing. Adjective: Regarded with particular reverence or respect. holy, sacred, sacrosanct, blessed, hallowed. Verb: To make sacred by a religious rite. blessed, hallowed, consecrated.]

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." [Matthew 5:27-30] [I don't believe God intended for us to literally interpret this passage, or else we'd have a world full of crippled and blind people. But it does show that God does not take sin lightly.]

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery**; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control..." [Galatians 5:16-23] [If you are trying to be led by the Spirit and the person you are dating is not, you will be in conflict with each other.] [**debauchery (dî-bô"che-rê) noun plural debaucheries 1. a. Extreme indulgence in sensual pleasures; dissipation. b. debaucheries.]

"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted." [Galatians 6:1]

"Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life." [Galatians 6:7-8]

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love." [2 Peter 1:3-7]

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OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO NOT CAUSE OTHERS TO STUMBLE

"Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way." [Romans 14:13] [You should not ycause the person you are dating to stumble. That is not a loving way to treat them.]

HOW SERIOUSLY GOD TAKES SEXUAL SIN

"I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people - not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat." [I Corinthians 5:9-11] [Again, Christians have no right to point their finger at the world and condemn their sin. We are called to love them. But, we are also called to keep other Christians accountable for the sin in their lives.]

"If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," then the girl's father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. The girl's father will say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. Now he has slandered her and said, 'I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, and the elders shall take the man and punish him. They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.

If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.

If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.

If a man happens to meet in a town a virgin pledged to be married and he sleeps with her, you shall take both of them to the gate of that town and stone them to death - the girl because she was in a town and did not scream for help, and the man because he violated another man's wife. You must purge the evil from among you." [Deuteronomy 22:13-24] [This may have been at a different time in mankind's history, but God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. These commands were for the Israelite nation whom God was trying to preserve and keep pure. This command was in the context of how God's people should relate to others within God's people, not the world. I don't believe he intends for us to 'stone' people who have sex outside of marriage, but this scripture is an indication of how seriously God considered it to be offensive.]

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WARNINGS ABOUT ADULTERY

"For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is better as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave. She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths are crooked, but she knows it not." [Proverbs 5:3-6]

"...Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man's wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished." [Proverbs 6:25-29]

"But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away..." [Proverbs 6:32-33]

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