These are testimonies others have shared...

Female: 20

I am 20 years old and sex is something that I struggle with everyday.
I was always very preoccupied with sex from an early age...very curious. My father was very open with me about sex, but in doing so, he did not share God's plan, the importance of waiting, or the creation with the intention of marriage. I lost my virginity at 14 years old. My boyfriend at the time and I had a relationship that was too advanced for our age, emotionally as well as physically. We were trying to have an adult relationship when we were still virtually babies. Over our year and a half together, we moved from one step to another, until eventually sex was the only thing left to try. I lost my virginity in a public spa the summer before I began high school.
Once you have sex, having it again is much easier. The initial fear and anxiety is gone. My next serious boyfriend was in my junior year of high school. We had sex only one month into our relationship. We were extremely sexually active the entire realtionship. I was very much in love with him. He was everything to me. I thought with all of my heart that this was the man I was going to marry. I was wrong. I found out 9 months into our relationship that he had been cheating on me the entire time. He had been sleeping with someone else, off and on, the entire time we were together. My heart had never been more broken. I was wrecked. Torn. It makes my stomach turn that I gave him such a precious part of me when he was so reckless with it.

For the first time, I truly turned to Christ. I had always had a belief in God, but never had a relationship with him. Now, he was my comfort.
My boyfreind now and I met during Christmas Break of my freshman year in college. He was a Christian, and a virgin, and a man with a character like one I had never known. We vowed not to have sex until we were married. I felt confident that we would pull through, but I was wrong. We put ourselves in compromising positions... watching movies in his bedroom, just the two of us, on his bed, in the dark. Things got out of hand, and it was hard for me to stop because I knew what I was missing, as where he did not. The more we fooled around, the more our relationship with God suffered. We felt guilty, so we would no longer talk about God, go to church, or pray with one another. As God was more distant, it was easier to fall. It was a vicious cycle and led to us having sex.

Now the issue of having sex is something that we struggle with everyday. When we aren't having sex, it is so hard not to--we get frustrated, we get our feelings hurt. When we are having sex, we feel guilty, we fight, our relationship suffers. You see, these problems are what God is trying to save us from. The Lord loves us and knows what is best. He does not tell us things to be mean or to make it hard on us. He tells us things which he know will bring us happiness... and nothing would make me happier than for my boyfreind and I, on our wedding night, to both be virgins, pure and true, and give that gift to one another. But that is merely a dream for me now... a lost dream. But there are plenty of girls out there that still have that chance... that dream is attainable. I hope that through this testimony it is evident that premarital sex is a slippery slope. It isn't just "that one time". It sets precedent for future struggles.

My boyfriend and I plan on getting married in a few years, and on our wedding night we will have no gifts. And he will always live knowing that he was not my first. And if we do not get married, if it is not God's plan, then I have to live with being a thief-stealing that precious gift from his future wife.
I pray everyday that the Lord will help me to rise up against temptation and I live one day at a time. The Lord forgives and restores. But I can truly say that there is nothing I regret more in my life than that night in the spa.

Female: 19

I commited myself to sexual purity when I was 15 years old. Today I am 19, and a sophomore in college. I am proud to say that I have stood strong in my commitment to God and myself. I won't say that it has always been easy, but I know that it's worth it. I wear a true love waits ring that reminds me daily of my commitment to purity, and I plan on giving it to my husband someday. I think the one thing above all, that keeps me true to my commitment is knowing that I want the man I marry to be a virgin. So how can I expect him to stay a virgin, if I'm not willing to? I also think about my future children, and that I want to be able to tell them I waited for their dad, and encourage them to wait as well. If I could say anything to those who might be struggling with their purity, it would be to surround yourself with christian influences. Find friends to hold you accountable, and watch what you take in from the media. But most importantly, PRAY. Ask God for strength when you feel you can't hold on any longer. He is always there for you. 

Male: 18

I'm an 18 year old guy and I made the decision to save sex for my wife the summer before my 8th grade year. (13 years old)  It was one of the greatest decisions I have ever made.  As a teenager, I confess it is very hard, but I know it will be worth it.  I cannot wait till I get to tell my bride-to-be that I have saved this gift for her.  She will be the only woman on the face of the earth that can have it.  I have a friend in college and she testifies that there is a lot of pressure to give up the wait.  She also says it is even harder for guys.  Sex is a big pressure for guys.  It supposedly proves man-hood.  Some are called "gay" because they have decided to wait.  So of course it is hard to wait.  But anything that is easy is not very rewarding.

Brad AUSTIN
Male: 21
QLD Australia.

I've recently turned 21 and Graduated from University and am still a Virgin and proud to testify to the fact.
I made a commitment with twelve other youth at my church when I was 15 (1996) to stay wholly committed to God, and to devote those energies that we could spend on physical relationships to growing in God and building deeper relationships with those around us. It was modeled (I was told) loosely on the 'True Love Waits' teachings and program. Since the completion of the
course and the commitment ceremony, we have all worn bands on our wedding finger.
This has served as a way of engaging in conversations about our beliefs and faith, but also to effectively 'take us out of the market'. To all who don't know us, it appears as if we are already married. This stops relationships based solely on physical attractions, and really means that we can get to know them emotionally and spiritually first. At the beginning of the course, I was doing this because I was going along with what the Church had taught for Millennia. As part of the course, I discovered that it wasn't simply the Church's teaching, but God's will. That reason would have been and still is enough to hold me to virginity. Over the years I have seen many of my friends (Christian and Secular) enter sexual relationships and destroy relationships that were healthy and growing. I have also seen relationships that have grown together in all areas of the relationship and they have married, both virgins, and by all appearances living very joyous lives. Because of this I have also started to research into the non-spiritual reasons why it is wise to abstain. All the
STDs, all the emotional stresses, and all my tax dollars being wasted on welfare for those who said 'I can handle it'. Any of those reasons are enough in their own right, but combined together, I can see no reason to go against God's will for my life.

Feel Free to Email
IRBradles@Hotmail.com.
Brad.
Remember. "Those who say you need to live your life and make your mistakes
haven't learn't from their's." -Life is too short to make them all yourself.

FEMALE: 22

Sitting in the hotel restaurant, my dad asked me was I ready to make my commitment to the Lord. I knew what he was talking about for my sister told me what happened to her at her special dinner with my dad when she turned thirteen. Now it was my turn, I nodded my head and said yes and gave my body to God. I made that commitment ten years ago, and I have not regretted one minute. Please don't get me wrong, it has not been the easiest decision but I know it is one I will cherish for a lifetime. How I wish I could say that my body is not familiar to anyone else. Or how I have saved my lips for my 'HubyBuby' but I can say that I have re-consecrated myself to God and cherish my decision even more. I can say that I am a virgin, but I have done many things that have not been pure before the Lord. As I eagerly anticipate the arrival of my husband I cherish my body. For my body does not only belong to me but to God. When my 'HubyBuby' and I consecrate our love to each other, it will be the beginning of a lifetime. I am 22 years old.

MALE: 35+

Dear Friends:

The following is pp. 141-42 of VORTEX VORTICUM, a novel which I wrote and published through my small company, Arcturus Press. After remaining celibate until marriage (at 35) myself, I wanted to devote my energies to helping others fight the good fight against the moribund "culture" around us. This excerpt takes the form of a letter which a college professor addresses to his young protégé, a man who has lost the woman he loves most in the world to the Siren song of campus hedonism. I offer it for whatever it's worth to you: there's a great deal more!

"I know how difficult it is to be a conscientious, upright man--unmarried, celibate, and intellectual to boot. Professing faith on top of all that, a devotion to supreme goodness which distinctly cramps one’s style every day—one’s anger, one’s cowardice, one’s mendacity, one’s… dare I say it? Concupiscence. I have not always kept the faith, but I kept it for a long time under those circumstances; when I did betray it, the strains to which I yielded were not those which I had long resisted. For I had grown strong, as you have grown strong. I know full well, then, that the University, for all its mocking hedonism, does not try such strength as sorely as a little town like Sardis. Did you know that I grew up in that little town? I’m not apologizing--everybody must be from somewhere. But it is a treacherous place, precisely because it holds out the illusion of community. Derision, persecution, isolation, and martyrdom we can endure, we who are strong, we who know how to be alone: we who know that we are never alone. But the illusion of community snares many of the strong. How can we be prepared to be shunned for our rigor in a town with a church on every corner? Those days of clear, unequivocal persecution at the University seem almost lofty, by comparison. We expected to find happiness elsewhere, should we survive our trials among the spirit-haters, the demon-possessed. Yet our refuge in the land of steeples is only a lukewarm stew of hypocrisy where people worship many gods, any god, and no god--where they love or hate nothing, where they are not possessed by so much as a demon. And why must it be so, we ask? Why must we suffer without even a fellow-sufferer--why are those who claim to be our fellow-sufferers instead our greatest affliction? Is there, then, no brotherhood in this life?

"God has singled a few of us out to suffer far more than others, or at least far more deeply than others, because He has bestowed upon those few the ability to see through suffering. Or is trying to bestow that ability, knowing that these certain ones must respond, sooner or later. And so He strikes us with lightning, over and over (it always strikes twice, and seven times seventy more), and singes our hairs gray, and bows our shoulders, and ruins our stomachs for the very bread we must eat and our brains for the very rest we must sleep to survive physically. He ruins us for this world as He ruins very few. Most, in fact, obtain some considerable measure of worldly happiness in their naiveté. I wonder if you can realize what a privilege it is not to be among them? I have no doubt that you will realize it one day... but I do not envy you your youth, that private desert which you must traverse.

"For I do not glorify suffering. I fear and loathe it, as any sane person must. But I am suggesting that what we learn is precisely that we do not suffer when we think we do--and, equally, that we are often most pitiful at moments which we deem our happiest. To suffer is to be separated from goodness. And because goodness is the ultimate truth, to suffer is to be separated from the truth, to live in lies. Not that lies really exist--not that one can really live in them. Ultimately, since only goodness is truth, there can be no positive, substantial lie. What we live in when we suffer, then, is half-truth: truth wrongly put together to create the illusion of a false truth, a lie. The Devil has no form but what he steals from true forms, since there is no Devil at all ultimately--only the real illusion of one, at least as real as anything in this material world of half-truths over which he reigns. And certainly as real as we ourselves, who (on our good days) are half-mired in the material illusions beyond which we must struggle in order simply to be.

"We suffer, in short, to the degree that we are not yet what we truly are in God. We suffer to the degree that we live in lies, in evil--in that which is not, so that we ourselves assume a dimension of non-being."

Please tell me if there is a way that I might reach some of your readers with news of my enterprise. I'm not trying to make big bucks, though it would be nice to break even; first and foremost, however, I'm doing this because I wish someone had done it for me, and because I have a little boy who will have to grow up in the world which we are creating.

Yours,

Dr. John Harris

FEMALE: 19

I'm going to make this short and sweet. I am not a virgin. I was raped when I was 18 years old by a very good friend of mine who I was dating. He knew that I was not having sex until I was married, and he agreed with my commitment, so I never saw it coming. For almost a year now, I had thought that the rape was my fault and blamed myself for it. It took telling my mother about that night (April 08, '99) in detail for her to help me realize that I had been raped.

Because I couldn't see the truth, and because I thought it was my fault, I began having consensual sex with this man (he's 19) once he "reminded" me that it was too late now anyway, "we'd" done it before. I always felt dirty.
Now I am 19 and almost 3 months pregnant with his child. Once I found out I was pregnant I actually married this guy because I thought that it was better for the baby, and maybe, if I married the man I lost my virginity to, then I would be "fixing" the situation. It would be all right that we'd had sex then.

Do not fall into this thinking. If you are saved, then God has already forgiven you for all of your sins. By marrying the man who raped me (by the way, 39-41% of acquaintance rape victims continue to date their rapist), I was not earning forgiveness. I already had it. I was only hurting myself.

I was trying to play God, but guess what, I'm not Him. Neither are you.

Give Him complete control of every situation you encounter. You cannot survive life without His help. Plus, you don't want to just "survive" life anyway... you want to LIVE it, and He will guide you.

If you are not a virgin, it's okay. Secondary virginity is a good thing. It's possible. I am in the process of divorcing my husband, and I am not going to have sex again until I am married (again), if I remarry. I know how hard it is to not have sex once you've experienced it.

If you are a virgin, then I am so proud of you. More than you'll ever know. You are living my dream, and on your wedding night you will give your husband a gift more precious then any he has ever gotten before. Please remain pure, and don't play with fire (i.e.. heavy petting, etc.) You will get burned. Hopefully though, not in the way that I was. If you think waiting now is hard, then you can imagine what your sisters who are pledging secondary virginity are going through. They know what they are missing. You don't. Ignorance truly IS bliss. I promise.

Okay, well, I failed miserably at the "short and sweet" part of this letter. But, I hope that at least one of you will learn from my experience. You can email me if you want to : Buffy05150@aol.com I'd love to hear from you. If any of you can relate, then it would be nice to know that I'm not the only one that's been in this situation, but, if I am the only one, then hopefully I remain the only person to go through this. Okay, I'm really going now. Pray for me.
-Jada's mom (well, in a couple of months anyway) :)

FEMALE: 28

I made the choice to remain sexually pure until marriage when I was a teenager. There were many temptations and challenges, but with the Lord's strength, I kept my vow. I'm so glad I did! I got married at 25 to a wonderful Godly man, and I was a virgin on my wedding night. My husband was not a virgin, although he had remained chaste for several years after repenting of his sexual sin. This was an issue that we really had to work through in our premarital counseling -- it wasn't something we just swept under the rug because he was forgiven.

I love my husband dearly and we have a wonderful marriage of 3 years. However, I know that he still has to battle the sexual memories he has of his teenage years. I, on the other hand, will never have to experience that kind of regret about sex. I encourage teenagers on a regular basis to think twice before making a stupid decision about premarital sex. It not only affects your present, but it could also affect your future marriage, even if you repent. You'll still have to rehearse your past and work through those things with your mate. It's just wise to do what the Lord says. He knows that abstinence is the only way to give your marriage the best start possible. He will reward you for it!
Sarah
Seattle, WA

FEMALE: 23

I am 23 years old and a newlywed. Abstinence is truly the most blessed choice for anyone. Nearly 10 years ago, my older sister took me out for dinner and explained to me the importance of purity, and abstinence and why I should wait. I was so excited, I knew I wanted to wait for my future husband, but now I really had the reasons to explain it to others. That night, we went to a beach near our house and she gave me an antique key held on two leather pieces twisted together, and we pledged there before God with each other as witnesses that we would remain sexually and in all ways pure for the man God was preparing for each of us. God laid in my heart that night a passion to be true and faithful to him as well, and I began sharing the message of purity with all who asked about my necklace with the strange key. That passion grew and I would pray for my future husband sometimes, that he too loved the Lord and would remain faithful to me in his body as well.

I have now spoken to several youth groups on purity and abstinence, and my message has changed this year only slightly. I will be going to speak to another group this weekend and I am trying to get updated on the latest. Your site has been a blessing, thank-you. Shall I tell you the rest of the story? I dated all throughout highschool, and only one guy really tested my stand. He unfortunately was left by the wayside, I wanted nothing to do with someone who wouldn't hold to the limits. After that I stayed single for a while, still sure of my promise to wait, and impatient for my "special someone".

I met my husband now at Bible College, we were friends for a while, then God opened our eyes to the character of one another and how we fit together so well. We began dating and immediately told each other what our boundaries were. We determined not to kiss until our wedding day if that was what God had in store for us. Seven months later, he ventured to kiss my cheek for the first time. We were cool with that. After a full year of dating, he asked me to marry him and I said I would. We were so excited we kissed each other on the lips for the first time, and then we were embarrassed for getting carried away. The wedding day was seven months away, and we did struggle with our desire for each other, but we tried to be very careful. This was all by the grace of God!!! Our wedding day was beautiful, and that evening I gave him a letter telling him how I waited for him, how much he meant to me, and how honored I was to be his wife. In the envelope, I had placed the key as well, the letter explained. That was one of a few times he has cried. We were both complete virgins on our wedding day, and I want everyone to know that it is worth the wait!!!!!!!

Tell the teens and young adults my story, please, and tell them all there is no shame in waiting, and NO, EVERYONE IS NOT DOING IT!!!!! There are more virgins out there than people realize, they just aren't getting as much attention as the ones who flaunt their immorality. God Bless your ministry. Thank-you. One who waited and received HUGE BLESSINGS by it!!!!

FEMALE: 19

My name is Ashley Deese. I am 19 yr. old a student at University of Alabama. I am currently representing 9 counties in the Miss Alabama pageant June 2001. We each have chosen a platform of our personal choice. I decided on SEXUAL ABSTINENCE
- TEEN PREGNANCY PREVENTION. I feel very strong about this and this is the reason why. I am a result of a relationship with my Mom and Dad. Who decided they could not wait until they got married. When my Dad found out my Mom was pregnant with me, he tried to get her to abort me. Her being a Christian this was against all she believed. He then called off the marriage and left town.

My Mom raised me by herself. Sometimes working as many as 3 jobs in order to give me what I wanted. She tried to make up for me not having a daddy. She did her best but it was times when I was so ashamed. My friends would ask where is your daddy and I would say I don't have a daddy. They would call me names and that hurt a lot. I went through High School and was very popular a cheerleader voted Most Beautiful each high school year by my peers. Graduated in top 20 of our class , listed in who who among American High School Students All that was good and I enjoyed it all.

But there was hurtful times as well. Like being ask to be Homecoming Queen and having to say no because I didn't have a daddy to escort me onto the field. A lot of other hurtful things happened because of being without a daddy. I still have not seen him until this day. During my growing up I made my Mom , my future husband , myself but most of all I made a promise to God that I would save myself for marriage. I also vowed that if it was any way I could help keep another girl, if only one girl from ruining her life. I would with the help of God. And when the opportunity came for me to be in this pageant I felt like young girls would listen to someone more their age with a Title such as I have .

When I boldly stand and say I'M A VIRGIN AND PROUD. And everybody is not doing it. I'M NOT!!! I go into schools churches civic groups any place I can and speak out on this subject.

FEMALE: 28

I'm happy to be able to say that my husband and I were both virgins when we married nearly 8 years ago. I'm 28 now and he's nearly 35. I think it's definitely well worth the wait. I like the idea of having a man no other woman has ever had. That makes me feel special. Plus I don't have to worry about catching anything from him.

I also think it makes sexual exploration (just between me and him!) that much more fun and exciting. We know things about each other no one else knows. It just makes the whole marriage that much more special in my opinion. And I think it's more romantic.
Sure it's a bit hard to wait, like having to wait until Christmas to open those presents you see beneath the tree, but it's worth it! Alexandra Spears

FEMALE: 16

This is hard for me, but I feel it is important for me to share my story. I'm 16, almost 17 years old. I have been with my boyfriend (he's 17, almost 18) for over eight months. We are both Christians. In fact, we met at church. It started out innocently enough. My first thoughts about our relationship was "Yes!!! I now have a Christian boyfriend! We can grow together in Christ." I don't exactly know how it didn't work, but things happened. After four months of exclusive dating, we advanced in our relationship sexually. We never had sex, but we took the one step above making out. We said, "This is it. We can't go to third base or anything else, because that is wrong." Two months later we took another step. It wasn't long after that until we had done everything BUT sex. I was going back and forth saying "It's OK, it's not bad" to "It's wrong I have to stop."

It was at a point where I made a promise to God that I would never do that kind of stuff again. I broke a promise to God. To God. Is that unforgivable? And it's not like I broke it once. I broke it over and over and over again. Number one, when you make a promise to God, you better keep it.

I need to tell all of the young girls out there. Just because you're a virgin, like I am, doesn't mean that you haven't sinned. Going past kissing ruined our relationship. Once we made that one small step from kissing, we wanted more and more and more. My relationship with God became nonexistent. I hated going to church and I never prayed. Then there was nothing more to our relationship. He would come over, and we would mess around.

My relationship with my parents went downhill. (They didn't know about anything, though). I fought with my boyfriend constantly. It was RUINING our relationship. Most people don't go back to God until they have been broken in. I knew it. I was ruining my life. I was hurting my parents. God was truly showing me that I was disobeying him. I was ruining my relationship with a guy I loved. So finally I repented. And it felt so good. My life seemed to be jump-started. Yeah, I sometimes forget to pray, and no, I don't read my Bible every day. But my life is better. My boyfriend and I both decided we would stop. Yes, we've been tempted since then, a lot, but we haven't given in. You will always be tempted, but God will never let the temptation be impossible to resist.

I told my friend that it is basically a miracle that we haven't had sex. The only people telling us not to have sex was our parents (who we didn't listen to) and our church (who we didn't care to listen to). Then there were older kids in our youth groups that we looked up to. One girl told me that she would never have sex before marriage and she wouldn't marry a man who wasn't a virgin. She was a role model to me. And she broke her promise. She had sex. When people that you look up to fall, then you think, "oh, well its OK."

Then there was the media. TV, movies, magazines said "Hey, sex is OK.!" Even our schools didn't teach no sex, but safe sex. Then we had our friends who mocked us for not having sex. When people found out how far I had gone, they were surprised. I was the good little Christian girl. What kind of testimony am I now. I screwed up. But you don't have to.

I know that experience is the best teacher. But if you can learn from my mistakes, then you won't waste a lot of time, and you won't risk the chance of losing someone you love. I turn 17 the end of the month

Would you like to share your testimony?

This should be more in depth than what people have written in the guestbook. Please write it using good grammar and punctuation, don't forget to spell check, and email it to me with the subject heading "testimony".